some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians,

Some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians, painters and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians, painters and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money.
Creating uniqueness is an art towards which certain people involved such as painters, poets and musicians. A section of society holds a belief that these artists
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
should
be allocated
by
This words can be replaced with:a number of
some
amount for their desirable work by the law enforcement agencies;
however
,
This words can be replaced with:a number of
some
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
that it is
This words can be replaced with:merely
just
a squandering of money as there are other various things to
be paid
for. This essay intends to discuss both the viewpoints followed by my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs with suitable illustrations.

The most conspicuous reason as to why strata of society advocate that the
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
should
provide
This words can be replaced with:a number of
some
funding for the artists is that they present their talents and entertain the whole world with their
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtsconceptsnotions
ideas
of presentation of certain things which
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :in some instances
sometimes
are unimaginable by the common community.
Possible spelling mistake found.Rafter
Raftar
, for an instance, is an eminent rapper who brought a new field of music into the country which was not known
This words can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
.
Moreover
, freshers in these streams need initial financial support
This words can be replaced with:therefore
so
that they may give their best performance without any burden of
being paid
by them or their families.

On the contrary
, others have conflicting views regarding the usage of official money towards necessities
instead
of donating to entertain the crowd. In other words, the entire country is facing issues in regard to education and health services which is way more
This words can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
than contributing an inordinate amount of money to the art section. To illustrate, these days the whole world is under threat due to Covid-19 pandemic and need a substantial amount of funding in the treatment which has skyrocketing expenses;
consequently
, the higher authorities
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
should
spend on such circumstances where the
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
of
This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
people are at
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :hazardsdangers
risks
. Another considerable reason is that the savings of the country need to be
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
to the people who belong in poverty
This words can be replaced with:therefore
so
that they may survive.

To conclude
, despite the fact that the artists play an imperative role in entertaining the folks, and they
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
should
be allocated
financial support by the
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
officials, I incline towards those who opine that there are other activities such as disasters and maintaining the
This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
's basic amenities which cannot
be overlooked
.
6.5
Total Band
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
7
Task Achievement
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